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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24619990">Epilogue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridalocksley/pseuds/shamandalie'>shamandalie (meridalocksley)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Vis A Vis &amp; El Oasis [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canonical Character Death, F/F, Grief/Mourning, This Is Sad, and I am not sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:21:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,847</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24619990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridalocksley/pseuds/shamandalie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>♦ <i>standalone fic (canon timeline, post-canon)</i> ♦<br/>❕ This is NOT the ending I would give to my fic.<br/>This is just me painting over the final episode, trying to save the saveable.<br/>• Chapter 1: Zulema (Her POV during the last episode. And a little extra addition. ;) )<br/>• Chapter 2: Maca (5 years after El Oasis. Where is that selfie Maca and Zulema took that Christmas? Has she heard a Ranchera since? And more unanswered questions I had to give my own answers to.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zulema Zahir/Macarena Ferreiro</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Vis A Vis &amp; El Oasis [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Zulema</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Writing is therapeutic, right? So let's have some therapy.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is Zulema's POV during the last episode.<br/>And a little extra addition. ;)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't know why I wrote this. But since I am determined to to fill in the blanks and make this ending more acceptable for me, I thought that instead of writing a rant about it, I could write it as a fic.<br/>This is based on what Najwa said about Zulema's death scene + obviously my additions to it.<br/>I "fixed" Maca's POV, now let's "fix" Zulema's too. :)</p><p>(This deals a bit too much with death. But it was not me giving Zulema terminal illness in the show, neither me killing her, so... we start from what we have...)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zulema looked into the distance. Ramala's people can be there anytime. It will be bloody, surely many people will die. She couldn't be sure whether it will be them or the men bleeding. <em>I might be dead in a couple of hours. Didn't I want this for the past months? Someone just ending it for me?</em> But it felt different when the moment was actually nearby. It felt different when it was not Maca pointing a gun at her. Maybe, just maybe, because no matter how much she provoked her, deep down Zulema hoped that Maca would never be able to pull the trigger.</p><p>"Would you wash my hair?" she turned towards the blonde. She looked back at her as if she would have went crazy. Zulema just wanted to talk to her. But not face to face, that would have been too difficult. On one hand because in other circumstances she would probably never say these things to anyone. On the other hand because she didn't want to see her reaction. They've still been angry with each other. And Maca was leaving anyway. Both of them were leaving anyway. Today or tomorrow, bloody or not, pregnancy or cancer, but this was the end for them.</p><p>She didn't know what exactly made her want to tell her those things. The fact that the time they spent together meant a lot to her, that she was happy during that time, that for those couple of years she felt like she has found a stable ground, a home, and she didn't feel like having to run away anymore, something she has felt her whole life. She just wanted her to know it. As a way of saying goodbye. Just in case. And maybe out of gratitude. Maybe out of love. <em>No, not love, not in that sense...</em> Just gratitude. Or maybe it was love after all.<em> A very selfish love.</em></p><p>Zulema was able to handle things on her own. But she didn't like feeling alone. She organized this damned robbery, making even more people involved because she didn't want to be alone. She wanted to feel that she is alive, breathing, doing something big, going out with a bang! She didn't want to have a mediocre death. She didn't want to die alone. This was probably the most selfish thing she has done.</p><p>Feeling Maca's fingers on the back of her head calmed her. She was not alone. Not yet. But she knew that she was going to die alone.</p><p>.</p><p>They were running. The armed men in their cars after them. The helicopter which meant their escape still too far away.</p><p><em>I am running again...</em> Zulema put all her strength into trying to keep up with Maca. <em>Stupid blonde! She never wanted to get on this helicopter. She never wanted to come to Morocco. She only wants her baby and a normal life. Yet now we are both running towards this helicopter! But then where?</em> She looked back at the cars chasing them. They were too close. There was no way that if they both keep running they won't shoot them before reaching the helicopter. So she suddenly stopped and fell on her knees on the ground. <em>There's nowhere to run anymore. Not for me. There's nothing left out there waiting for me. And I am tired of running. Even if it's running from death. I am done.</em></p><p>Maca looked back at her being worried.</p><p>"Get out of here!" Zulema shouted at her.</p><p>Maca stared at her being frightened. "Come!"</p><p>"Relax, I am not doing it for you. Take care!" Zulema smiled at her. <em>It's all the same if I die here now or in a month in a hospital. No, actually it's not all the same at all! I'd rather die here. It's quicker. It's a bullet. And I won't be alone. Not for long. And I can slow them down, so you can have a better chance to get on the helicopter and fly towards the life you always wanted. But that's secondary, of course.</em></p><p>"No..." Maca stared back at her.</p><p>"Go! You are not alone anymore." she said smiling looking at the helicopter landing nearby. <em>You never wanted to get on that helicopter with me, blondie, isn't this ironic?</em></p><p>She saw a sad smile on Maca's face. And hope. Probably she knew that they barely had a chance together.</p><p>"Thank you." Maca whispered with tears in her eyes and ran away.</p><p><em>Don't thank me. I am doing this for myself. Also helping you with it is just a lucky by-product. </em>Zulema told herself.<em> But you are welcome... </em></p><p>For some reason she started to feel very calm. She turned around too, facing the other direction and looked at the cars approaching her.<em> Here we go...</em></p><p><em>What are you planning to do?</em> The voice in her head asked. And for the first time it was not hostile. It was compassionate. <em>I have absolutely no idea.</em> She answered her own question.</p><p>She knelt down once again and put her forehead on the ground. <em>Maybe nothing. It's just a matter of minutes and it's over for me anyway. Isn't it all the same how it ends? Probably no one will know.</em> Going out with a bang suddenly lost its importance for her. She was bored of playing catch with death. </p><p>So she started singing. That has always been her inner shelter. She was at peace. Everything around her was blurred and in slow motion, the only clear thing was the melody in her mind. She slowly straightened up looking at the man pointing their guns at her. But they didn't shoot. <em>Why aren't they shooting?</em>  Who shoots at a calm, singing woman laying in the sand? <em>I could shoot at them. Then I'd be dead in a second.</em> she thought. <em>But I am not resisting this.</em> She stood up and dropped her guns on the ground.<em> I want you idiots to shoot. I <strong>chose</strong> the moment of my death, so come on, just do it!"</em>  She smirked at them, pointing her fingers like guns towards them.</p><p>And then they shot. And she felt physical pain. A lot of physical pain. But the melody was still in her head, something inside her remained intact. A shout probably left her mouth, but she wasn't conscious about that anymore. The calming melody from inside her materialized around her, she was gazing into the distance, looking at how it approached her as white light from the horizon, wrapping her into an embrace, taking her home.</p><p>.</p><p>Then in the white mist she blinked at herself again. That annoying bitch from her head was still there, looking at her with a judging smirk.</p><p>She has never been alone.</p><p>"See? You didn't kill me!" Zulema spat out the words staring at her with contempt.</p><p>The projection smiled, then she turned her back on her.</p><p>"Where are your smart ass remarks? Aren't you going to tell me that I did this to myself and that I am pathetic?" Zulema asked. "That I did this the way I never thought I would, not even putting up a fight?"</p><p>"Aren't you tired of fighting with yourself?" the projection looked back at her. </p><p>Zulema looked in her own face, being perplexed. "Will you not disappear? Am I stuck with you for eternity?"</p><p>The projection laughed. "I already let you go. It's you continuing to beat yourself up. And to answer your question... It doesn't matter that you did this the way you never thought you would. You did it the way you wanted to. You always did whatever the hell you wanted, why should have this been any different?"</p><p>"Since when are you giving me reinforcement?" Zulema frowned.</p><p>"Since you are ceasing to hate yourself." the answer came. She looked around, but she didn't see anyone else near.</p><p>"Awesome..." Zulema whispered. Then the nothingness started to revolve around her.</p><p>.</p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>+/- AN EXTRA PART:</strong>
</p><p>(You can choose whether you want it or not. :P)</p><p> </p><p>Zulema felt like she was in free fall like when one is falling asleep but waking up in the process. She opened her eyes. She couldn't sit up. Her back was hurting. Her arm was hurting. She sighed. <em>Pain... I am alive!</em></p><p>She must have said the words out loud, because someone approached her, and she heard a familiar voice.</p><p>"You sound very joyous about it..." Maca said ironically.</p><p>Zulema looked around. The room she was in was not familiar. But she saw the sea through the open door. This must have been the small house she bought as a safe place for them to come to with the helicopter.<em> The helicopter...</em> She closed her eyes. Her memories slowly came back.</p><p>"I wanted to die, Maca." she said. "How did I not die?"</p><p>"Maybe you didn't want it enough, despite what you were telling yourself?" Maca shrugged. "Or you just simply were not supposed to die yet, no matter what you wanted?" she added, then she sat down on the edge of her bed. "You have four gunshot wounds, none of them were letal, but you've lost a lot of blood, and you were unconscious for a while. The doctor said that your wounds will be all right and in two or three weeks you will be able to move normally."</p><p>"Three weeks?!" Zulema looked at her in horror. "Maca... I don't think I have thee months left! You should have left me there!" she said being frustrated.</p><p>"You wanted me to die with you. Don't judge me for wanting you to live with me." Maca said quietly.</p><p>Zulema laughed bitterly. <em>We are the worst!</em></p><p>"You had months left four months ago too and you are still doing fine." Maca continued. "Well.. relatively fine... But you are not easy to kill, trust me, I know it fist-hand!" she laughed. "It could be one month, it could be four, it could be a year, nothing is ever certain... And you have this house here at the seaside. A lot of money. A fucking helicopter. And also time. Why waste that?" she looked down at her and reached towards her hand. "And I am not going anywhere." she added.</p><p>Zulema swallowed and looked at the ceiling. "When did you find that out?"</p><p>"When I got into the helicopter. On my own."</p><p>Zulema swallowed. She has faced death many times and in many ways already. She thought she'll be able to handle facing it once again.</p><p>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Zulema</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Christmas lights were twinkling on the window. </p><p>"When can we eat from the cake, mommy?" </p><p>Maca picked up her four year old daughter and gazed with her through the window. </p><p>"Uncle Roman's car will pop up there soon!" she told her. "Then we will all soon eat the cake too. But this day is not just about eating cake, sweetie!"</p><p>She walked with the kid in her arms to a shelf filled with family pictures. "Look, do you remember little Maca?" she pointed to a picture. "She'll come too." </p><p>"She's not that little!" </p><p>"No, she's not anymore..." Maca laughed. </p><p>"And who are all those other people?" the little girl looked at the other frames. </p><p>"Our family." Maca said with a sad smile.</p><p>"Are they coming too?" the kid looked at her with innocent eyes. </p><p>"No." Maca said quietly, holding back her tears. "But they are here with us. Look..." she grabbed another frame, a picture about her and a long, dark haired woman staring into the camera, taken five Christmases ago. "She is one of the people I named you after. Wouldn't it had been for her, we couldn't be here right now. I hope you will be as brave as she was." she softly ran her finger over the picture and put it back down. "But I for sure hope you have a heart more like your grandmother's!" she said smiling and kissed her daughter's forehead. </p><p>"She has funny clothes!" the kid continued looking at the picture.</p><p>"Yeah." Maca laughed. "What do you think, which of the two names do you want to use when you grow up? Zulema? Or Encarna?" </p><p>"My name is Zuzy, isn't it?" the kid blinked at her. "Yeah, it is." Maca smiled at her and put her down. </p><p>The doorbell rang. She wiped away a tear from the corner of eye. </p><p>.</p><p>Roman was browsing through Maca's vinyl collection. "Don't you have something Christmassy?" he asked. </p><p>"I do, it's there on the other table." </p><p>"Since when are you listening to Ranchera?" he looked back at her holding up a disk.</p><p>Maca stepped near him and took it out of his hand. "Since a while. It reminds me of some good times." </p><p>"What the hell happened during those years when we weren't talking? All you keep saying is that you ran into Zulema and teamed up with her out of necessity, then it ended very badly, but she sort of saved your life. But  that doesn't make sense. One doesn't name her child after ones ex-enemy, Maca!" </p><p>Maca put down the disk and looked at her brother. "No, no one does that. We name our children after people we love, don't we?" </p><p>Roman looked at her with a scanning gaze. </p><p>"Come on everyone, time for the cake." Maca stepped back to the table. </p><p>.</p><p>She looked around the table, over her small family. She loved them. She finally had the normal life she always yearned for. She had a normal home. She had a child. She had a decent job, working as a secretary once again, without a manipulative boss. She didn't feel trapped.</p><p>She tried dating a couple of years ago. It hasn't led anywhere. All the men and women she went out with seemed shallow. If she imagined a future with them all she saw was a cage. And she was done with cages once and for all. She lived more intensely in two years than most people in a lifetime. She didn't want to settle for anything less. She did have casual affairs occasionally but she didn't want a relationship. She had a family, and that was enough for her.</p><p>.</p><p>Before Roman and his family left in the next day, she took out the garbage and overheard an argument from around the corner. She was about to ignore it but a voice in her head told her not to look away. She stepped closer to them. Two teens were arguing. </p><p>"I don't want to try it." a girl said. </p><p>"Just once, you'll feel good from it." a boy insisted. </p><p>"No, I don't do drugs." </p><p>"Whatever. Then come to my place we can watch Home Alone." he said laughing and grabbed the girl's arm trying to kiss her at the same time.</p><p>"Let me go! I don't want to!" the girl shouted at him. </p><p>Maca stepped behind the boy and put her arm around his neck, he was barely breathing. </p><p>"No one taught you that no means no, asshole?" she whispered into his ear pressing her knee into his back. "Now I'll let you go. And be thankful that you did not run into an old friend of mine, she wouldn't have been that kind. She roughly let him go. The boy ran away. </p><p>"Be careful with whom you hang out with." she said looking at the girl with a concerned smile, then she turned around to step back into the building. </p><p>"Wait, I didn't even thank you!" the girl stepped after her. Maca turned back towards her. The girl handed her something wrapped into a colourful paper. "I bought this to my mom. I was about to go to the shop she is working at today as well to give it to her. It is not very nice, but for some reason she likes those ugly creatures..."</p><p>Maca shook her head. "No, thank you. I shouldn't take it."</p><p>"But I want you to! She surely won't mind if I tell her that I gave it to you, she despises these kind of assholes too. Please. And Merry Christmas!"</p><p>Maca took the gift. She opened the paper and her heart skipped a beat. It was a silver necklace. With a little scorpion medal on it." </p><p>"What is your name?" she asked looking at the girl who was about to walk away. </p><p>"Estrella." she said. "Estrella Vargas." </p><p>Maca smiled at her. She was teary eyed. </p><p>"Well tell your mother that you both are welcome for a coffee anytime." she said. "Number 23, the apartment." she added looking back at the building. "I'm Maca, by the way."</p><p>The girl nodded, waved at her, and disappeared. </p><p>Maca wrapped her fingers around the necklace and tears ran down her cheek. She sighed and looked up at the sky.</p><p><em>You'll never cease to rule my life, will you?  </em>she asked quietly laughing. <em>I'll never escape the shadow you cast over me... </em><em>You want me to continue your hunt? I can't do that, Zulema, I am a  single mother! But I will never look away, I can promise that. </em></p><p>She put the necklace into her pocket, wiped away her tears and stepped back into the building. </p><p>.</p>
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